Being idle is my worst enemy. When I am idle, I get depressed and physically ill. Therefore I like to keep myself occupied. However I have been suffering from a 4 month idle patch and it is starting to take its toll on me. I am feeling the effects creeping up. They have manifested themselves in my recent weight gain. I have gained 2 kilos, with my weight reaching 75 kgs :(
Last December I suffered a minor back injury. During my physical therapy, the doctor told me I have to loose weight. His exact words were, "I will tell you now that you have to loose weight. I don't need to know how much you weigh. I can tell by just looking at you, that you MUST loose weight." I admit those were some harsh words, and it hurt hearing that my lower back muscles are so out of shape that they literally can't hold up my body anymore.
Now all of this grim news should have wiped me in a frenzy to get my butt moving and loosing those kilos, but there was a catch. Due to the back injury I could not exercise, not even take long walks. I was advised by my crude doctor to take up swimming, which is a novel and interesting sport in itself. The only problem was I don't know how to swim. So my mission was to find an establishment that taught overweight grownups how to swim. I also needed to buy a bathing suit - but I will leave that little adventure for another post. I was adamant and resolute. I will abide by the doctor's orders to loose weight the improve my lower back muscles ! However these plans never materialized into actions, for a number of reasons I will not divulged into now. Yet here I am, 8 months later, with an extra 2 kgs to get rid off.
Talking about weight issues and body image seems like such a cliche. We have all gone through them. Some buckle down, do the work that needs to be done and collect the rewards. Others bitch and moan about how hard it is to actually loose weight. I perceive myself as belonging to neither group. I have become complacent with my weight gain. I embrace it as a fact of life. I am getting old, chances are I am going to get wrinkles and I am going to get fat. I see it as an opportunity to buy new clothes and indulge in delicious deserts. But the truth of the matter is over the past 10 years I have gain 15 kgs, and I will be better off without them. The ironic thing is I know exactly why I emotionally eat at times, why I have gained weight, and why I haven't lost any. I guess the bottom line is, I am too lazy to do anything about it.
The biggest part of my problem is not having any support system. My mom's idea of eating healthy, is eating at home. On the surface that is a nice idea, but when the homemade menu consist of rice, pasta, bread, lasagna covered with all sorts of cheese, bashamel covered vegetables, scorched slabs of meat, and burnt chicken, you realize that eating at home is not going to cut it. I know that I can always cook for myself and not eat what my mom is serving. But that is easier said than done, especially when you have such a weak disposition to food as I do. But again these are just further excuses. Yes, I would be better off if I had a more supportive family at home, but tough luck cause it ain't gonna happen. The truth is I am getting old, but I am also starting to feel old because of the way I eat and my lack of exercise. So, I can bitch and moan , or I can do something about it. And I have chosen the later.
Some of you might be wondering why I have decided to blog about this. First of all, it will give me a constructive daily activity to do and take me further away from the idle abyss of boredom. Secondly, it'll act as kind of a pledge to myself and you all are witness. Maybe it will keep me on track. Last but not least, I was hoping that you can be my support group. Whenever I am discouraged and distraught with thoughts of abandoning my quest, I might find new friends who will help me along the way.