Gotta Be Somebody

There's on old lady I often see riding the train. She has short gray hair and wears amusing winter caps, I guess that's why I noticed her in the first place. Sometimes I see her on the train, other times I see her on the platform. We walk along the same path from the station. I suppose we live on the same street, only she turns left and I turn right. Sometimes I see her walking around town. She is always alone, with a somber expression on her face. 

Tonight, while picking up dinner from the corner diner, I saw her sitting at a table by the door. She was eating dinner and reading a book. She was sitting there with her short gray hair and knitted cardigan, as always, all alone. As I looked at her I realized that she's me in 30 years. That will be me sitting there at the table by the door, eating dinner and reading a book, all alone. My eyes teared up as I exited on my way home. 

I don't want to be the lonely old lady, but I don't know what to do about it. I can deal with solitude for short durations. But the idea that this is it, forever; and forever is God knows how long, pushed my over the edge. Sure, I can cry and feel sorry for myself. That is all I can really do about it, but I wasn't in the mood for a sad mood that night. I ate my dinner in bed, as always, all alone. Then I went to you tube to look up a music video that would better express how I was feeling. I like to live my life vicariously through songs, movies, and books. I turned on the video, got up out of bed and lip synched my heart out. As always, I was all alone smiling and playing the air guitar, knowing that there's gotta be somebody for me out there.  

How much would you pay for "Hope in a Jar"

Last weekend, during a trip to NYC, I popped into Macy's to see if they have stocked winter gloves. As I had entered through 8th Avenue, I had to walk across most of the store's lower level in order to get to Women's Accessories. I must admit that I am always overwhelmed and intimidated by Macy's flagship store in NYC. The first time I went there was during the holiday season. It was so crowded, that a bit of claustrophobia kicked in while on the escalator. This time around, although less crowded, it was crowded nonetheless. Anyway, I maneuvered my way across the people infested corridors until I reached the accessories section, only to discover that there were no winter gloves on display. Disappointed with the 30 minutes it took me to walk across the store, I headed towards the 8th Avenue exist. On my way back, I came across Philosophy's display in the cosmetics department. Feeling a bit down with melancholy, I opted for a little retail therapy. I bought some facial cream called "Hope in a Jar".

I always get very sad while in NYC. For some odd reason, I don't know why, I get home sick and start thinking about my family back home in Egypt. Needless to say, the train ride from NYC is a very sombre one. It doesn't help when the weather is cold, dark, and gloomy (which is to say, most year round in New York). My train ride this weekend was no different. I dwelled on my loneliness and all the things I was missing. I was even humming Ricky Martin and Christina Arguilera "No Body Wants to be Lonely". Then I got to thinking about my purchase. In an attempt of momentary happiness, I bought "Hope in a Jar". The real reasons I bought "Hope in a Jar" is to combat wrinkles, yet I couldn't help but think of the irony of this emotional purchase. I was at Macy's largest shop, smack in the middle of their cosmetics department with a cornucopia of global brands, surrounded by retinol this and retinol that, organic natural ingredients, semi-professional cleansing and restoring products, yet I went for "Hope in a Jar"!

Now, I am not dissing the product, it was one of Oprah's favorite things (and thus why I am aware of its existence). However, what struck me as ironic is, at a time when I was feeling despair and at my most worst, I bought "HOPE !!!! in a Jar". Grant you this is facial cream, and the hope it is peddling is the return of youth. Nevertheless, wouldn't it be great if you could buy a little bit of hope when your life seems hopeless, a little bit of faith when you feel that you are losing your way, or a little bit of encouragement when you just can't go on. Wouldn't those be the greatest products of all time. Who among us wouldn't pay good money for a little bit of hope, faith, love, self-esteem, and courage.

The mere thought of the possibility to buy the emotional support I needed that day lightened my mood. I realized that such emotions can be found - for free - in the simplest of things. I realized that hope is all around for those who seek it. It's in a friend's hug. It's in the single ray of sunshine that escapes through the clouds. It's in a little white jar of cream that puts a smile on my face whenever I use it because it reminds me of the time I wished I could buy HOPE in a jar.

Blog Virgin

I am a single 34 year old living in Cairo. You can think of me as the female version of Steve Carrell's character in "The 40 year old virgin", with the exception that I am happy with with my Career so far.
One might ask why I would start a blog. To be honest I've asked myself the same question, "Why am I starting this blog?" A couple of years ago I felt like my life was in a rut, so I decided to take some time off from work and focus on other things in life. Truth be told I was happy. I was able to read books, spend more time with my nephew, organize my closet, cook healthy food, exercise and do things I couldn't do while I was working a full time job because I was either too tired or stressed for time. But nothing lasts forever, after 18 months of bliss I had to go back to working full time. I have been back for 22 months now. I am okay with going back to work, lets face it I have to if I am going to support myself, buy an apartment, and save for my retirement, yet I still feel that something is missing. I have gone back to eating junk food and not exercising at all. I try to read as much as I can. I only get to see my nephew(s) and niece once a week. But again I am okay with it all - these are small sacrifices one has to make in life. Maybe I have started this blog to give me a sense of purpose, to have a forum where I can say what I want, when I want. Maybe I am hoping that this blog will help me find the little something I am missing in my life. I don't know.
Now the hard thing is to decide on what I will write about. Choosing a topic is not hard, for I am very opinionated and out spoken. The difficult thing would be to narrow it done a few selected disciplines. So, I have decided not to choose, I will just write about whatever I feel like writing. I will write about my quest to fitness and a healthy life. My failed endeavors to find romance. The challenges I face at work. Whatever comes to mind , will go into the blog. I promise I will try not to get bumped up when I have no followers, because I am blogging for me. It'll be great if someone else happens to like what I ranting about - but if not then that's okay, for I will live to blog another day !