Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

I was reading an article about the 30 things a woman should know by the time she is 30. Although the list was put together by an American journalists, I felt that it could be generalized across various cultures. Let's face it, women are women regardless of their geographical location, whether be it New York or Cairo. We all face similar challenges and obstacles along the way.  As I am reflecting on the life long lessons I have learned, the only thing that kept popping in my head was coming to terms with the notion that "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder". I am amazed at how long it took me to come to this realization, despite the fact that it ties into one of my dominating views - Everything in Life is relative. I call it my theory of relativity. 

It took me a while to realize that Beauty, much like everything else, is a matter of opinion. In essence we are who we are. No amount of waxing, plucking, coiffing, or polishing is going to change that. Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to present ourselves in a nice package. Just like marketing a product, the outer package must appeal to the target audience. This brings us to the notion of "the eye of the beholder". I can hear the collective gasp of feminist at the objectification of women in comparing them to commercial products. But let's be honest, who among us hasn't dressed for the occasion. While getting ready to attend a wedding, we painstakingly  select our outfit and head gear/ hair style to upstage other female attendances and maybe attract the attention of suitable mates (or their mothers;) ). Needless to say, we have all done this at one point or another. In order to be perceived as beautiful, we have to appeal to the notion of beauty as defined by those to whom we want to be perceived. Even the definition of beautiful in its self is relative and the criteria of such definitions vary as much. I would like to point out that I am talking about external appearance. Internal beauty can't be altered, that's just hypocrisy. However, the external packaging of our souls change from season to season.

The bottom line is, dress to impress, that is if you want to leave an impression. Yet if you have the strength to forgo social vanity, for rest assured that you are beautiful in the eyes of those whose opinions matter the most.

El beda walla el Farkha: The relationship between a country's president and its constitution

Much debate has been going on over the chronological order of electing a president and establishing a constitution. This is a chicken-and-egg argument where the mass opinion is divided into two groups. There are those who advocate the establishment of the constitution first and foremost. They believe that without a new and improved constitution, any ruling body will be a different version of the old establishment. On the other hand we have those who lobby for electing the president first. They believe that a leader - chosen by the people - is imperative in uniting the diverse local forces to work together on founding the new-era constitution. Again, this is a chick-and-egg debate, which should precede the other is an endless discussion. Partaking in such a discussion will get us no where, except maybe realizing why the chicken crossed the road - to get out of the discussion !

As a long-time pragmatic, I couldn't help but wonder why should there be a correlation between the president and the constitution, more precisely between electing a president and establishing a constitution. By definition, a constitution is a set of fundamental principles or established precedents according to which a state or other organization is governed (copied from Wikipedia). Most probably the constitution specifies the qualifications of presidential candidates and the process by which they are nominated and elected. So I understand that there is an inherit relationship. However, we need to formulate,  agree upon, and publish the constitution before it can be enforced. Now, this argument might appear to advocate that the constitution should be established before electing a president, again chicken-and-egg. Nevertheless, until these governing principles are in place, what is going to happen to the country? Can Egypt just stay on the sidelines of world politics and economy, declining to participate until  clear rules of engagement are defined? I do not think this is possible. It's not like this is a video game where we can press the reset button and just start over. We have to remain an active player to ensure border security and economic stability, even more so as we rely heavily on imports for our day-to-day needs. So the option of putting the country on hold until the constitution is established does not seem to be plausible. So what is the alternative? Those of the "constitution first" mindset have suggested appointing a ruling party/group consisting of prominent politicians representing most of the country's different political temperaments. Yet, why would this group of people lawfully rule the country without an integrated constitution in place, while an elected individual can not? Isn't this the main reason they argue that the constitution must come first. Some people say that having a group of people ruling the country is better, as group members will keep each other honest. Maybe, or maybe not.

The truth of the matter is, no one can predict the outcome of this political experiment. Who among us has participated in or even witness the founding of a constitution ! We are all learning how to live with and partake in the political process. Unfortunately the price of this learning curve is the mistakes that will be made in the pursuit of democracy. Moreover, the next president will have a unique role unlike any other ruler from the past or the future. While heads of states have the responsibility of overseeing governments' efforts in maintaining a firm position within the worldwide arena as they secure the well being of their citizens, our next president will have the burden of shepherding Egypt into the Future. This will be a thankless job, an impossible task of uniting a fragmented society in order to work together tirelessly on an endeavor from which they will not have an immediate gain. This person will not form the new constitution, his role will be to foster an environment where different - and often opposing - points of views can come together for a greater good, albeit while maintaining Egypt's position in the worldwide arena as he secures the well being of the Egyptian people. So whether the constitution should comes first or the presidential elections is a mute discussion. At the end heya kolaha weg-het nazar (a matter of opinion).

Average Joes: Life at the top of the normal distribution curve!

As children, we are constantly told that each and every one of us is special in our own way. As individuals, we each possess a certain set of skills, talent if you may, that makes us shine apart from the rest. Parents sign their kids up for different activities such as sports, arts, and/or music extracurricular hobbies; jamming their child’s already busy  schedule with diverse exposure to various disciplines in hope that they’ve spawned the next Yo-Yo Ma or Abu Triekka. The truth of the matter is that the majority of people are born without any distinguishable talents what so ever. The majority of people live their lives firmly positioned at the top of the normal distribution curve, never achieving outlier status.  They can do most things well, yet they are not great at particularly anything.

There’s nothing wrong with being average, again most people are. So why is there a continual effort to ingrain children with a sense that they are (or must be) extraordinary. When has ordinary become such a bad thing? Why can’t we teach them to embrace who they are. Teach them to identify their strengths, ordinary as they may be, and to make those strengths work for them. I understand that it is “a dog eats dog” world, and we must teach our children how to survive in such an environment. However, emphasizing that they have to be exceptional can be detrimental to their self-esteem, more so for the emerging average Joes. Ordinary kids spend their childhoods and exert much effort in trying to prove to themselves that they are great at something - anything, trying to live up to the enormous expectation put upon them by their parents and by society. When they can’t find their talent, they start to prey on other kids who are actually special, and thus a bully is born. On the other hand, they can just dwell in their own self-pity and sorrow, essentially bulling themselves. How can we expect them to show tolerance to others when we didn’t teach them to accept who they are?

To all the average Joes out there, we are the worker bees and yes it sucks! We’ll probably never get to shine in the spotlight. We won’t leave lasting legacies. But, without us outliers would not exists, for there will be no movie stars without movie goers. We are the axis from which outliers deviate to show their extraordinary attributes. We might not make the world spin, but we keep it in its orbit. Embrace your old average self and know that it is us who make geniuses genius.

The Dichotomy of Mediocre Performance

For years now I have been noticing a general decline in work (performance) done by Egyptian employees. Grant you that my observations are based on my personal interactions and stories relayed to me by friends and acquaintances.   Upon further reflection, I started to realize that this phenomenon has spread to all aspects of our lives.

Without proper investigation and root-cause analysis, it will be impossible to pinpoint the exact reasons behind this issue.  

 However, I believe that the “Me Too” effect (more precisely “Eshma3na Ana”) has a lot to do with it. The perpetuation of mediocrity throughout our lives has led quite many Egyptians to wonder why should they give a damn when everyone else doesn’t give a hoot. Why should they care about doing a good job, when all around them people are getting away with doing lousy work? Of course these people justify mediocre performance by saying (and in due time believing) that the smart thing to do would be to exert the most minimum amount of effort while maintain a mediocre enough quality of work as not to get any salary deductions. This must be smart. This is street smart “Fahlawa”! Only an idiot would do more effort than necessary, when they can do less and get paid the same.

This has been going on for years, but when it first started, I imagine it wasn’t as wide spread as it is now. In the beginning people were just a few minutes late coming into work. Why should they be on time? Most companies have a 10 – 15 minutes grace period for attendance – just in case employees run into some traffic or any other issues that would delay them. In fact it’s not only justifiable to be late, it would actually be wasteful  to arrive on time and not use those 10 minutes allowance ;) look at Mohamed, for example, every day he comes in at 9:15, yet nothing is deducted from his salary. Then why should May be on time? Besides, we really can’t control traffic. There is nothing we can do to guarantee that we arrive every morning at exactly 9:00 am. What happens when we come in at 8:55? The company doesn’t pay us for those extra 5 minutes. It’s just plain stupid to not take advantage of those late minutes.  What harm would come from being a couple of minutes late each day?  Of course if organizations accept and expect their employees to be late coming into work, then “logically” the same concept applies to deadline and delivery dates. Duh! Companies simply cannot expect their employees to hand in their work and meet deadlines on time. Come on, we all know that management always factors in delays. We don’t control the universe. Stuff happens! Look at Tawfik, he’s always late for meetings. Why should I be on time? Besides I’ll only be a few minutes late. I’ll just be getting a cup of coffee.

Throughout those years, employee’s performance decline started to slowly but steadily creep into the Egyptian work place. With every few late minutes, or missing pounds, employees justified poor performance with “everyone’s doing it“ and “who is it harming?” notions. Now imagine an entire generation that was exposed to these levels of mediocrity throughout their lives. Teachers at schools skipping lessons because there won’t be included in the final exam or these lessons are for gifted students. Who needs math anyway? Bus drivers who run through red lights and cut other vehicle off the road because everyone else is doing it and the people who abide by traffic laws and fasten their seat belts are actually bad drivers. At home, they hear their dad brag about making a huge commission because he overpriced an offer and the customer was too stupid to notice the high margin. By the time these kids become a part of the workforce, they don’t even need to justify mediocre performance to themselves. For this generation, doing the bare minimum is normal. To them, it is the right way of doing things.

Unfortunately the current and future batch of Egyptian college graduates is a result of our mediocre performance lifestyle. It is going to take a tremendous amount of effort and perseverance to shift their paradigm of “Acceptable Performance”. This is one task where good enough will not be good enough.

Knots Landing: Tahrir Square Edition

Last night I was woken up at 1:30 am. Unable to go back to sleep I started to channel surf until I settled on Dubai One. They were showing a TV movie titled "Knots Landing: The return to the cul-de-sac 2". For those of you born in the late 80s and 90s, Knots Landing was a popular prime time soap opera. It was a spin off of another infamous TV show "Dallas" as it followed the lives of Val and Garry Ewing (JR and Bobby's brother) upon moving to Knots Landing, somewhere in California. I want to say Los Angles, but I am not totally sure. 

Growing up in the 80s, I used to religiously watch every episode of Knots Landing and Falcon Crest (another prime time show staring Jane Wyman). They were on everyday at 9:00 on channel 2. Everyone watches these shows. They were often topics of discussion at school, with people trying to guess what is going to happen next. We would anxiously await the twists and turns of plot lines, and try to mimic the actors fashion (who can forget Abbey's eye shadow and hair cut, she started the whole Rachael craze). Even now, 20 odd years latter I still remember the names of the major characters and couples. There is Val and Garry, Karen and Mac (she was originally married to Sed, but he got killed off), Greg and Laura (who died of brain cancer, and their daughter Meg was raised my Karen and Mac). Many careers were launched in these shows. Alec Baldwin made his debut as Val's younger brother. He was totally hot, we all had a huge crush on Joshua (the name of his character) until he turned into a psycho and killed his wife, then committed suicide. Who can forget Page (Nicollette Sheridan), Mac's daughter with Anne. 

Although I tuned in the middle of the TV movie and I had no idea what was going on, I kept on watching. Abbey was scheming something with Gregg and someone got killed while a warehouse burnt down. Val was furious to discover that Garry has a daughter with some other woman. Mac was occupied with a case against Gregg. Just same old Knots Landing business. I kept on watching out of the sheer joy of reminiscing with the show. This got me thinking about the prime time soap operas of today. Are there any ? Maybe "Desperate Housewives", but that show has been deteriorating since season three. What else, "Grey's Anatomy"or  "Private Practice"? I wouldn't necessary characterize these shows as a soap opera. Although everyone is sleeping with everyone else, but there is a genuine lack of scheming and plotting. Then I realized that I have stopped watching soap operas all together. I am more into short witty sitcoms (or what's left of sitcoms) and other cable dramas like "Ture Blood", "Boardwalk Empire", "Damages", and "Sons of Anarchy". I still tune into network crime shows such as the "Law and Order"s and "CSI"s. I wondered about this shift in taste. Are current prime time soap operas so bad that they don't attract my attention anymore? Have I just matured and my taste of entertainment has evolved? Or maybe our lives are full with our own drama. We are plagues with tragedies that were unimaginable a few years back. There is war, famine , natural disasters, economic turmoil, life threatening animal related flu. The list goes on and on. No mater how you try to hide from the news, it's going to find you whether be it via television, facebook, SMS, or pod casts. Misery likes company, and it finds us all eventually. The adventures of the residents of Knots Landing, or Westeria Lane for that matter, does not entertain us any more. 

As I was dwelling on this conundrum, I looked over at my alarm clock to see that it was almost 4:00 am. I waited for Fagr azan, then I fell asleep to the familiar sound of the opening credits of "The Closer".

Will lose weight ! Help me to loose weight ! Despirately need to loose WEIGHT !

Being idle is my worst enemy. When I am idle, I get depressed and physically ill. Therefore I like to keep myself occupied. However I have been suffering from a 4 month idle patch and it is starting to take its toll on me. I am feeling the effects creeping up. They have manifested themselves in my recent weight gain. I have gained 2 kilos, with my weight reaching 75 kgs :(


Last December I suffered a minor back injury. During my physical therapy, the doctor told me I have to loose weight. His exact words were, "I will tell you now that you have to loose weight. I don't need to know how much you weigh. I can tell by just looking at you, that you MUST loose weight." I admit those were some harsh words, and it hurt hearing that my lower back muscles are so out of shape that they literally can't hold up my body anymore.

Now all of this grim news should have wiped me in a frenzy to get my butt moving and loosing those kilos, but there was a catch. Due to the back injury I could not exercise, not even take long walks. I was advised by my crude doctor to take up swimming, which is a novel and interesting sport in itself. The only problem was I don't know how to swim. So my mission was to find an establishment that taught overweight grownups how to swim. I also needed to buy a bathing suit - but I will leave that little adventure for another post. I was adamant and resolute. I will abide by the doctor's orders to loose weight the improve my lower back muscles ! However these plans never materialized into actions, for a number of reasons I will not divulged into now. Yet here I am, 8 months later, with an extra 2 kgs to get rid off.

Talking about weight issues and body image seems like such a cliche. We have all gone through them. Some buckle down, do the work that needs to be done and collect the rewards. Others bitch and moan about how hard it is to actually loose weight. I perceive myself as belonging to neither group. I have become complacent with my weight gain. I embrace it as a fact of life. I am getting old, chances are I am going to get wrinkles and I am going to get fat. I see it as an opportunity to buy new clothes and indulge in delicious deserts. But the truth of the matter is over the past 10 years I have gain 15 kgs, and I will be better off without them. The ironic thing is I know exactly why I emotionally eat at times, why I have gained weight, and why I haven't lost any. I guess the bottom line is, I am too lazy to do anything about it.

The biggest part of my problem is not having any support system. My mom's idea of eating healthy, is eating at home. On the surface that is a nice idea, but when the homemade menu consist of rice, pasta, bread, lasagna covered with all sorts of cheese, bashamel covered vegetables, scorched slabs of meat, and burnt chicken, you realize that eating at home is not going to cut it. I know that I can always cook for myself and not eat what my mom is serving. But that is easier said than done, especially when you have such a weak disposition to food as I do. But again these are just further excuses. Yes, I would be better off if I had a more supportive family at home, but tough luck cause it ain't gonna happen. The truth is I am getting old, but I am also starting to feel old because of the way I eat and my lack of exercise. So, I can bitch and moan , or I can do something about it. And I have chosen the later.

Some of you might be wondering why I have decided to blog about this. First of all, it will give me a constructive daily activity to do and take me further away from the idle abyss of boredom. Secondly, it'll act as kind of a pledge to myself and you all are witness. Maybe it will keep me on track. Last but not least, I was hoping that you can be my support group. Whenever I am discouraged and distraught with thoughts of abandoning my quest, I might find new friends who will help me along the way.

20 minute Risotto

My love affair with Risotto started 4-5 years ago during a business trip to Rome. Ever since I have been trying to prefect a risotto recipe that will work for me and with ingredients I can easily find in Egypt. After much experimentation I have reached the optimal 20 minute risotto recipe. Bon Appetite !

Ingredients:
1 chopped onion
1 medium sized tomato, grated
3/4 cup rice
3/4 liter hot broth
Grated Parmesan, Emmental, or Picarino Cheese

In a hot skillet, saute onions in olive oil. When the onions turn translucent add rice and continue sauteing. When rice turns opaque, add grated tomatoes and keep stirring. Once the rice absorbs all the tomato liquid add a ladle of broth and stir. Once the rice absorbs all the liquid, turn down the heat and add another ladle of broth and continue stirring.

Keep adding one ladle of broth at a time while constantly stirring the mixture. In approximately 20 minutes all the broth will be added and the rice will be cooked. With the heat still on low, grate any type of cheese you like into the mixture. Add the amount of cheese to taste. Combine the cheese into the mixture and turn off the heat. Leave the risotto to rest for a few minutes then serve.

This amount can serve 3 - 4 people.

Tips:

• The taste of the risotto depends greatly on the broth being added, therefore use a broth that you would enjoy eating as is.
• Moreover, don't wash the rice, as this removes a lot of the natural starch that causes the creaminess of the risotto.
• Don't forget that the mentioned cheese variety are salty, therefore use unseasoned broth. Add salt and pepper after cooking the risotto and letting rest for a few minutes.

Additional Options:

• Saute mushrooms and celery with the onions for added flavor.
• With the last ladle of broth, add sweet peas / corn / sauteed shrimp for extra nutrition
• Garnish with chopped chives or cilantro